Day 2

So it is now day two and I did good today! I didn’t over eat and had a decent breakfast, lunch and dinner! (Mostly because I was at my mothers all day) It all started with my bowl of cinnamon toast crunch for breakfast. Then I went to my mothers to pick up my child and ended up staying all day. She made lunch at one and it was good. She made lettuce wraps, which were very tasty. Then we cleaned the house and played with the baby. My brother came to my moms with good news that he is taking a CDL class so he can get a job he has had his eye on and before I knew it my dad was home making dinner. He made beef and broccoli stir fry. 
    Right now I am sitting at my apartment and its 8:48 pm my time. I am skyping a few friends while my baby sleeps in the swing next to me. I am in an extremely good mood today because my 14 week old son rolled over today all by himself with no help at all! It was amazing. Everything about him growing is amazing. I swear that every day this child does something new and it amazes me! I never thought that being a mother was so rewarding! Now hopefully I can make my self skinnier so I can attract a nice guy who will love my child as much as I do and hopefully make more babies and so I wont be so lonely. Sometimes it would be nice to have a guy in my life to have some adult talk and to have romantic sex with.
    Anywho, I am not going to eat anything else tonight except a skinny cow ice cream bar then head to bed. I will talk to you tomorrow. Whoever you are.
Good night!

Day One

So on my first day I didn't do very well! I ate a whole pizza for lunch. Every last slice. What the hell is wrong with me???? ugh I felt so guilty after words. So after i pigged out on pizza i ran around getting ready and went to my moms house with the baby. When I am at my moms i don't eat so much because she points it out when i am over eating, so i try to spend most of my time at her house if she isn't busy. My parents kept the baby over night and i went out with my friends. We played tennis, which i found out that i suck at, then we came back to my house and we made margaritas and played cards till about 2 in the morning. We had sausages while playing games. Needles to say i got drunk. They all went home and i made my way to my bathroom and drank a bunch of water then climbed into bed. Not a bad day... minus the pigging out at lunch.

My new begining

    It is 10:15 pm my time and I can’t stop thinking that there is something wrong with me. I have this obsession with food, not healthy food, but every other kind of food. I go shopping and buy things that look good and end up way over eating. I cant help it either. Just knowing that there is something good sitting in my kitchen waiting to be eaten really gets to me. Part of the reason why I over eat is because I get bored and the other part is the “I don’t know” part. Im not depressed or unhappy. In fact I am really happy. I just had a baby in February and he is a beautiful healthy baby.
    So the question in why in gods name do I eat non stop? And why in the hell do I OVER eat?  Well I don’t know the answer to that. Is there a mental illness that I may have? Well if you have any suggestions please chime in and let me know! (if anyone is reading this that is.)
    Since I cant answer my questions and don’t know what to do about them I am going to try losing weight with the help of this. Blogging. And hopefully I will get some followers who will support me!
    I am going to start this weight loss journey with telling the world my weight and height. This is scary to me because usually I lie about my weight because I am so self conscience about it. But here it goes!

My height is 5feet 2inches. (this is the variable that I can not change but wish I could)
Now here comes the big one….
My weight is 207.3lbs.… scary huh?!

    So now that you know my height and weight I can begin the journey! I am going to weigh myself at the end of every week. I am going to write about everything I did, everyday. I will tell you everything I eat. Hopefully my followers can give me suggestions along my way. Now remember I do have a 3.5 month old son who takes up a lot of my day so I am a little bit lazy… rocking him and snuggling him in all! But I am going to try my hardest to lose weight! I was 156lbs before the pregnancy (which was mostly due to partying every night and going on drunken TocoBell runs). My ideal goal weight is in the 140’s and anything lower would be amazing!
    Oh yeah, I guess I should tell you that I am 20years old.
    It is now 10:40pm and I am going to pump my breasts for milk for my child and feed him then head to bed. I have a huge journey ahead of me and can use all the sleep I can get (thank the lord my son sleeps through the night already)!
Good night all.